Saturdays are KILLING me.

no desire to work. no desire to be productive.
all i do i sit and wait for something to catch my eye, listen to some good music.
but this is how i make my living... how can i sit here wasting so much time when there's so much to be done? how is this making a life? i never wanted a job.... i need a career. something worth while, something that has nothing to do with money and everything to do with feeling purposeful. with being purposeful. when did temporary become the past 3 years? when did i learn to settle?

bloc party is making me want to take a road trip. all i need is someone to come along and supply some good tunes. you don't even have to drive. we wont spend any money, we'll get an old hitchhikers guide if there really is such a thing and just go and see what still exists. we'll cross our fingers that the car doesn't break down and sing along with the cure until we can't speak. we'll chase sunrises and sunsets back and forth across the country and zig zag our way down to somewhere we've never been before. we'll take pictures that we wont show anyone. we'll make up great adventures and keep the real ones for ourselves. we'll change the times on all the clocks so we never know just when or where we are. we'll feel the benifits of a few days lived commercial free. we'll pick up interesting people and coax life-stories out of them. we wont spend one second thinking about where to go next or what we may be missing out on. we'll find the places we want to settle down and promise to go back someday. we'll forget where they were.

the really great songs are the ones that deserve the repeat button. someone brought me a flower today. some things are still so fucking good.
where are you? this used to be so much more fun. left me to the games i hate to play and offered no distraction. i think i need your distractions.