baby love

there's been such an amazing shift with miles over the past week or so. he's become so much more aware and inquizitive. he's more mobile than ever, not quite crawling yet but rolling and reaching and finding whatever way possible to get to what he wants. and what he wants is everything. especially remotes, cellphones, the laptop, water bottles and glasses. he's also become more attatched, less accepting of people other than me and his dad. but most of all more attatched to me. he used to be equally attatched to both of us, actually more so landon than me at times, but now he reaches for me constantly. its both wonderful and heartwarming and a little bit sad at times. i know his dad misses the time he used to have with miles at night, they used to get hours together while i was at work but now miles is in bed before i even leave. i admit it feels wonderful to have him reaching for me all the time, but i wish landon didn't have to miss out on so much during the day. i however am loving the way things are now. not the part about landon not getting to be around all day of course, but i love my days with miles and our time together in some ways more than ever. of course i've cherished every moment since he was born, even the sleepless nights, feedings round the clock, crying for hours, throw up all down my shirt... all of it; but now it's so much more fun. we play all day while he's awake, he smiles and laughs all the time. the other day he was laying in bed with me after nursing just staring at my foot and lauging everytime i said 'toes' for about 10 minutes. its so spectaular to be a party to that kind of unbridled joy, at the smallest of things. can you imagine what it would be like to be that amused over something so simple? to be that amazed by new words, emotions, things.... its very rare that i can't get him to smile, even when he's upset. there's always some simple little way to make him happy. i just hope i can learn from him.